Tuesday, September 11, 2007

The Global Warming Panic

I have a problem with globalism in any form. That should not surprise anyone who knows me. I also have a problem with creeping federalism. One example of the latter is when someone in Washington decides to attempt to address a West Texas issue with Washington ideas. In West Texas, some kid takes his Uncle Bill's truck to school because his is in the shop. That day, the federal or state government has decided to do a drug check, and the dog sniffs out Uncle Bill's pickup. What he finds is Uncle Bill's rabbit rifle, a .22 he always keeps behind the seat. Since the kid didn't bother to give the pickup a shakedown that morning, the rifle is his responsibility, and state and federal laws require that the young man be suspended for two weeks. Everybody in West Texas knows that the kid was just driving his uncle's pickup, but in Washington or the state capital, it meant that he was going to go on a rampage. But we can't do anything about it because government requires us to paint everything with the same big brush.

In the same way, I want to let you in on a secret about West Texas this year that you may not know: this has been one of the coolest summers we've ever had. I'll bet that when you think of West Texas, you see dry rangeland, cattle skulls, and a cactus or two -- especially if you've never been here. You also think of hot temperatures, and that's usually what we get. However, 2007 will go down in history here; unless some really strange weather happens, we will never make it to a hundred degrees this year. We didn't see 90 until mid-June, and we went through July and the "dog days" of August without ever reaching 100. Today, we didn't even make 80. I might also add that we've had record rainfall; our lakes, rivers, ponds, and streams are full. I'll bet you didn't hear about this on CNN.

All I've heard about is the "record heat wave" that has "threatened" this country, and all the people who have died from it. We need to get one thing straight: every day, somewhere in America, some place breaks a weather record. When you hear about an "all-time record" high temperature in Boston, what they mean is that it never got that hot on that day in that specific place. Some of those "all-time-high's" that I heard about this year were in the low 90's, which, usually, where I live, is like a Sunday School picnic.

But this year has been different. West Texas has been cool. On Easter Sunday, there was snow on the ground, after a high in the 30's the day before. We had a blizzard on that Saturday. In West Texas. Where Easter usually sees 90 degrees and sandstorms. Between April and June, we saw the temperature stay in the high 70's to low 80's. My A/C bill hasn't been this low since the days of $1 gasoline.

Why hasn't this been reported? It's been downright cool down here! Could it be because this doesn't reinforce the fear that is being inflicted by a special interest group that wants you to think that somehow, Americans are melting the poles? We're killing polar bears, and somehow, this northern industrialized nation has even opened an ozone hole over the south pole!

Usually, by August, even the nights are no relief: the temperature stays in the 80's. This year, it's been the high 60's to low 70's. This morning, it was the 50's.

This brings me back to the "global" view I hear about. Some people assume that, because cherry blossoms came out early in Washington this year, that everybody must be experiencing the heat. I know it's been hot some places, but the thing here is that it has not been hot everywhere. I would assume that a global pattern of warming would affect everyone. For some reason, this traditionally hot zone of West Texas has not been affected. We didn't see 100 for the entire summer. We think it's going to be a cold winter, but we could be wrong...

It will probably be warm next year, but it won't be everywhere. I see that Farmer's Almanac is predicting 2008 to be the hottest year in a century, and they are probably right -- somewhere. It was the hottest year in a century this past year, too, in a few towns. In my town, it was about as cool as it ever gets.

I guess I just want the globalists to quit foaming at the mouth. They found a rifle in Johnny's uncle's pickup, and they now think that we're all a bunch of trenchcoat mafia out here (because they would be if it was in their car). But we're fine. Weather patterns change. Everyone knows that. I think we've severely overestimated our puny human ability to influence this rather large planet.

As I noted a few months back, our sister planet, Mars, has also been going through some global warming, too. I somehow don't think that SUV's had anything to do with that. It happens. To all planets -- at least the ones that have an active sun. Old Sol has just stirred a bit, like he does every so often.

Some day, a big city on the East Coast will get cold again, and the prophets of doom are going to warn us about the new ice age that will make most of North America and Europe uninhabitable (like they did in the silly '70's), and they will have to blame somebody for it. We Americans will probably be the ones. We need to get used to it.

In the meantime, the only global warming that is for sure is the constant supply of hot air that comes at us from both coasts from people who don't know anything about history and have nothing better to do.

I'm glad that, at least here in West Texas, we got a summer off. Even the hot air of blathering environmentalists didn't affect us this year.

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